Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Deficit Spending By Party
Let's examine the facts folks:
Jimmy Carter - Significantly reduces the national debt left
by Nixon and Ford
Ronald Reagan - Triples the national debt
Bill Clinton - Leaves a surplus
George W. Bush - Well, you all know how this went...
If I were a visitor from outer space I would have to say that
the Democrats are the True Fiscal Conservative Party. To
say otherwise is just plain stupid.
I know what you're thinking, but what about Obama's
spending? Unfortunatley for the country, this mess left by
yet another Republican administration is going to be even
more difficult to clean up.
But richardporter, what do you predict will happen when
Obama finally does clean up this mess?
If history is a lesson, I predict that the Republicans will
regain power and once again try to destroy this great
nation.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
An Encounter With Patricia Neal
(INT. JOHN IS WALKING THROUGH THE BACK
OF THE THEATRE AND COMES UPON PATRICIA
NEAL WASHING DISHES, AS SHE WOULD HAVE
APPEARED IN THE FILM 'HUD'. A PLAY IS HEARD
IN THE BACKGROUND, INTERUPTED OCASSION-
ALLY BY THE SOUND OF CHICKENS CUKKLING
AND COWS MOOING.)
JOHN
Selma, what are you doing here?
NEAL
What's it look like I'm doing Honey? I'm washing dishes!
That's what I do 'round here! I wash dishes! ...Do you
have an extra smoke on you?
JOHN
Yea sure! Where's Hud tonight?
NEAL
Who knows with him! I'm just glad he's out of the house for
a while. I need the time away from him. You know what a
pill he can be!
JOHN
Yea, sure! Hey listen, can you come over here and talk
to me?
NEAL
Is this close enough Honey?
JOHN
I just wanted to light your cigerette for you properly.
(JOHN PULLS NEAL CLOSE TO HIM)
NEAL
You're such a gentleman!
JOHN
And then some? And you feel so good! You have a
womanly body! And you're a big girl too! You're
bigger than you appear on the big screen. I like that!
Can I get a kiss?
(NEAL KISSES JOHN LIGHTLY ON CHEEK)
What's up with the Hollywood kiss? That's how you would
kiss your grandmother! Now try again sweetheart! I don't
want any tongue. I just want a kiss!
NEAL
Okay!
(THEY KISS)
JOHN
I think you're beautiful! You're gorgeous! I like everything
about you! Are you Italian?
NEAL
No, I'm from Georgia!
JOHN
On both sides?
NEAL
No, just my Mother's! My Father's from Spain!
JOHN
A Conquistador! Can I get another kiss?
(THEY KISS)
You feel so good! I think I'm in love with you.
NEAL
I have a five-month old baby!
JOHN
Your lips are so soft!
NEAL
And a very sickly mother!
JOHN
Can I touch you there?
NEAL
I've had my fill of cocaine and pills!
JOHN
Do you have any now?
NEAL
I was abused as a child!
JOHN
That feels so good! You're so beautiful! Can you make
a pounding noise?
NEAL
Under certain circumstances! Why do you ask? Why are
you telling me this?
JOHN
Are you a backdoor girl?
NEAL
Once! In Branson Missouri! But I've never told anyone,
not even Hud.
JOHN
Tell me all about you! That's all I want to know.
NEAL
I was sixteen. Out on my own for the very first time!
JOHN
I bet you were gorgous.
NEAL
I was! Big breasted and small hipped!
JOHN
Sweet sixteen!
NEAL
I was legal! And I didn't have a care in the world.
JOHN
Were you wearing that apron?
NEAL
Yes, I was working in a truckstop...
JOHN
Serving coffee...
NEAL
And dounuts...Yes! He caught my eye as soon as he
came in the door. A tall lanky boy with blond curls and
ocean blue eyes. I could make out the faint sound of
drumming. Jungle drums in a rain forest far far away.
Wet and succulent plants all around me. Wild animals
crying out in the night! A band of Zulu warriors slowing
circling 'round....
JOHN
Was it a Tarzen movie? I don't know what to think of you
honey.
NEAL
Don't think too hard because that's how I've had it! Hard and
dirty! My poor dirt farm daddy worked himself to death in
them tobacco fields. My poor fat mother went crazy! My
baby sister caught ditheria!
JOHN
Come closer. I only want you. Can I touch you under
your apron?
NEAL
But why?
JOHN
Because I like everything about you! And then some! I
love your butt! I just want to be near you and hold you!
NEAL
That's exactly what I want to hear. I want you to know
everything there is to know about me.
JOHN
Can I get another kiss? Your hair is so soft!
NEAL
Do you have a hair fetish?
JOHN
I do! And yours is absolutely perfect. Are these real?
NEAL
You tell me.
(KISS)
JOHN
Have you ever thought about leaving Hud?
8
NEAL
Never!
JOHN
Then who's the bus ticket for?
NEAL
Okay! I thought about it yesterday! Do you want to touch
my tail or not?
JOHN
Do babies like breast milk?
(NEAL TURNS ONE QUARTER AROUND AND
BEGINS TO DROP HER DRAWERS)
STAGEBOY ENTERS
Sir, richardporter has requested to speak with you
immediately!
JOHN
What could be that important?
STAGEBOY
He says his chicken is missing sir?
JOHN
Well, call in the fucking National Guard! I'm busy here!
(WHEN JOHN TURNS BACK ROUND NEAL HAS
VANISHED.)
FADE OUT
OF THE THEATRE AND COMES UPON PATRICIA
NEAL WASHING DISHES, AS SHE WOULD HAVE
APPEARED IN THE FILM 'HUD'. A PLAY IS HEARD
IN THE BACKGROUND, INTERUPTED OCASSION-
ALLY BY THE SOUND OF CHICKENS CUKKLING
AND COWS MOOING.)
JOHN
Selma, what are you doing here?
NEAL
What's it look like I'm doing Honey? I'm washing dishes!
That's what I do 'round here! I wash dishes! ...Do you
have an extra smoke on you?
JOHN
Yea sure! Where's Hud tonight?
NEAL
Who knows with him! I'm just glad he's out of the house for
a while. I need the time away from him. You know what a
pill he can be!
JOHN
Yea, sure! Hey listen, can you come over here and talk
to me?
NEAL
Is this close enough Honey?
JOHN
I just wanted to light your cigerette for you properly.
(JOHN PULLS NEAL CLOSE TO HIM)
NEAL
You're such a gentleman!
JOHN
And then some? And you feel so good! You have a
womanly body! And you're a big girl too! You're
bigger than you appear on the big screen. I like that!
Can I get a kiss?
(NEAL KISSES JOHN LIGHTLY ON CHEEK)
What's up with the Hollywood kiss? That's how you would
kiss your grandmother! Now try again sweetheart! I don't
want any tongue. I just want a kiss!
NEAL
Okay!
(THEY KISS)
JOHN
I think you're beautiful! You're gorgeous! I like everything
about you! Are you Italian?
NEAL
No, I'm from Georgia!
JOHN
On both sides?
NEAL
No, just my Mother's! My Father's from Spain!
JOHN
A Conquistador! Can I get another kiss?
(THEY KISS)
You feel so good! I think I'm in love with you.
NEAL
I have a five-month old baby!
JOHN
Your lips are so soft!
NEAL
And a very sickly mother!
JOHN
Can I touch you there?
NEAL
I've had my fill of cocaine and pills!
JOHN
Do you have any now?
NEAL
I was abused as a child!
JOHN
That feels so good! You're so beautiful! Can you make
a pounding noise?
NEAL
Under certain circumstances! Why do you ask? Why are
you telling me this?
JOHN
Are you a backdoor girl?
NEAL
Once! In Branson Missouri! But I've never told anyone,
not even Hud.
JOHN
Tell me all about you! That's all I want to know.
NEAL
I was sixteen. Out on my own for the very first time!
JOHN
I bet you were gorgous.
NEAL
I was! Big breasted and small hipped!
JOHN
Sweet sixteen!
NEAL
I was legal! And I didn't have a care in the world.
JOHN
Were you wearing that apron?
NEAL
Yes, I was working in a truckstop...
JOHN
Serving coffee...
NEAL
And dounuts...Yes! He caught my eye as soon as he
came in the door. A tall lanky boy with blond curls and
ocean blue eyes. I could make out the faint sound of
drumming. Jungle drums in a rain forest far far away.
Wet and succulent plants all around me. Wild animals
crying out in the night! A band of Zulu warriors slowing
circling 'round....
JOHN
Was it a Tarzen movie? I don't know what to think of you
honey.
NEAL
Don't think too hard because that's how I've had it! Hard and
dirty! My poor dirt farm daddy worked himself to death in
them tobacco fields. My poor fat mother went crazy! My
baby sister caught ditheria!
JOHN
Come closer. I only want you. Can I touch you under
your apron?
NEAL
But why?
JOHN
Because I like everything about you! And then some! I
love your butt! I just want to be near you and hold you!
NEAL
That's exactly what I want to hear. I want you to know
everything there is to know about me.
JOHN
Can I get another kiss? Your hair is so soft!
NEAL
Do you have a hair fetish?
JOHN
I do! And yours is absolutely perfect. Are these real?
NEAL
You tell me.
(KISS)
JOHN
Have you ever thought about leaving Hud?
8
NEAL
Never!
JOHN
Then who's the bus ticket for?
NEAL
Okay! I thought about it yesterday! Do you want to touch
my tail or not?
JOHN
Do babies like breast milk?
(NEAL TURNS ONE QUARTER AROUND AND
BEGINS TO DROP HER DRAWERS)
STAGEBOY ENTERS
Sir, richardporter has requested to speak with you
immediately!
JOHN
What could be that important?
STAGEBOY
He says his chicken is missing sir?
JOHN
Well, call in the fucking National Guard! I'm busy here!
(WHEN JOHN TURNS BACK ROUND NEAL HAS
VANISHED.)
FADE OUT
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
[Church Boy] by Daniel Porter
Even as a little kid the omniscient feeling
of my fate was there. I was a very sensible
kid I guess. I kinda could always tell what
people around me were thinking. It was the
subtle things that gave them away. Well I'm
not here to discuss body language, or any of
that.
My story started on a Wednesday night. At a
youth church event, right across the street
from the liquor store my Dad owned. Now I'm
no church boy or anything, and well neither
is my Dad. I was invited by Elizabeth
Peterkin, a rosey cheeked brunette.
Yes, if it wasn't for her school girl charm,
I wouldn't have been speaking in tongue
right then. To some obese man, named Pastor
John. On June 6th 1993, I was a saved boy.
Blessed with the holy spirit, I was another
Irish-German, callow mess of a kid. In the
eyes of a small southern town, I was golden.
You should have seen the eyes of Mrs.
Peterkin, when she saw me praying with
Pastor John. You would have thought she
anointed me herself. Mrs. Kirtrich Peterkin,
was Elizabeth's grandmother, a frail old
woman with puffy white hair. Who was
sporting her latest sweater right out of the
Bells winter catalog. She was a sweet lady,
who gave large donations to the church every
few months. Her husband was a rich man, and
my Dad's biggest customer. After the service
Mrs. Peterkin pulled me aside and said:
"Miles, I am so happy to see you here, I
haven't seen you here since you were a boy.
Oh how you look just like your Mother. I
just hope you don't act like your Dad. I
hope to see you back next Wednesday." I
smiled and said: "Yes Mrs. Peterkin, I'll
be back. Will Elizabeth be here next
Wednesday?" She then chuckled and said,
"Im afraid not, she has a personal prayer
group to attend to. But you will still be
here despite that, right?" then choking on
my own grief I smiled and said, "Yes, of
course." I was happy my night of frolicking
with the holy ghost was over. That night in
bed my mind raced with the thought of
Elizabeth. I didn't think of Pastor John
or Mrs. Peterkin. Nor did I replay in my
mind the intolerable excuse for music known
as "Christian Rock." I only dreamed of
seeing Elizabeth Peterkin one more time.
of my fate was there. I was a very sensible
kid I guess. I kinda could always tell what
people around me were thinking. It was the
subtle things that gave them away. Well I'm
not here to discuss body language, or any of
that.
My story started on a Wednesday night. At a
youth church event, right across the street
from the liquor store my Dad owned. Now I'm
no church boy or anything, and well neither
is my Dad. I was invited by Elizabeth
Peterkin, a rosey cheeked brunette.
Yes, if it wasn't for her school girl charm,
I wouldn't have been speaking in tongue
right then. To some obese man, named Pastor
John. On June 6th 1993, I was a saved boy.
Blessed with the holy spirit, I was another
Irish-German, callow mess of a kid. In the
eyes of a small southern town, I was golden.
You should have seen the eyes of Mrs.
Peterkin, when she saw me praying with
Pastor John. You would have thought she
anointed me herself. Mrs. Kirtrich Peterkin,
was Elizabeth's grandmother, a frail old
woman with puffy white hair. Who was
sporting her latest sweater right out of the
Bells winter catalog. She was a sweet lady,
who gave large donations to the church every
few months. Her husband was a rich man, and
my Dad's biggest customer. After the service
Mrs. Peterkin pulled me aside and said:
"Miles, I am so happy to see you here, I
haven't seen you here since you were a boy.
Oh how you look just like your Mother. I
just hope you don't act like your Dad. I
hope to see you back next Wednesday." I
smiled and said: "Yes Mrs. Peterkin, I'll
be back. Will Elizabeth be here next
Wednesday?" She then chuckled and said,
"Im afraid not, she has a personal prayer
group to attend to. But you will still be
here despite that, right?" then choking on
my own grief I smiled and said, "Yes, of
course." I was happy my night of frolicking
with the holy ghost was over. That night in
bed my mind raced with the thought of
Elizabeth. I didn't think of Pastor John
or Mrs. Peterkin. Nor did I replay in my
mind the intolerable excuse for music known
as "Christian Rock." I only dreamed of
seeing Elizabeth Peterkin one more time.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
John Waters' Obsessions
Princess Summerfall Winterspring
Johnny Ray
Clarabelle the Clown
Margaret Hamilton’s Wicked Witch of the West
Dagmar
Cyril Ritchard’s Captain Hook
Bad Seed’s Patty McCormack
Dorothy Malone, (“Monster Mash” creator)
Bobby “Boris” Pickett
Tennessee Williams
(Manson girl) Leslie Van Houten
Jean Marais
James Purdy
Yukio Mishima
Rei Kawakubo
(Baltimore burlesque legends) “Lady Zorro” and Esther Martin
Cy Twombly
Mike Kelly
Peter Fischli
David Weiss
Richard Tuttle
Richard Baker
Moyra Davey
Little Richard
(“outside pornographers”) Bobby Garcia and David Hurly
(high-brow authors) Denton Welch, Lionel Shriver, Christina
Stead, Jane Bowles, Ivy Compton-Burnett
(slain atheist) Madalyn Murray O’Hair
Andy Warhol
Monday, August 09, 2010
Saturday, August 07, 2010
Obama Stimulus Plan Working
The congressional budget office said in May 2010 that the stimulus has boosted employment in the U.S. between 2 million and 2.8 million people and raised GDP by 4.2 percent. So there has been positive trends in terms of the unemployment rate and GDP growth since Obama took office. Put that in your pipe and smoke it boys and girls! And it's only going to get better in spite of Republican opposition
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
Bed Time
Daughter: Daddy, do you love Mama?
Dad: I love your Mother very much Pumpkin.
Daughter: Then why is she gone?
Dad: Can you promise to keep a secret?
Daughter: I think I can.
Dad: Your Mother has turned into an angel and now
she's in heaven living with the other angels, and
God too!
Daughter: Daddy, please don't cry!
Dad: I'm sorry Honey. Daddy just hasn't been himself
lately, has he?
Daughter: That's okay Daddy. I still love you.
Dad: Thank's Pumpkin. Your Mama's gone away and she
won't be returning. Do you know any Spanish words
Darling?
Daughter: Are we moving again Daddy?
Dad: I'm afraid so Pumpkin.
Daughter: But I'll miss Mom so much.
Dad: Don't be afraid Pumpkin; Mom will always be as
close as a couple of feet away.
Daughter: Is Mom underneath the bed?
Dad: Yep. Right next to your Brother.
Daughter: Timmy?
Dad: Yep.
Daughter: I love you Dad.
Dad: I love you too Pumpkin. Sweet Dreams.
Daughter: (Aside) I doubt it very seriously.
Dad: Goodnight Sweatheart.
Daughter: Daddy, please leave the light on.
Dad: I love your Mother very much Pumpkin.
Daughter: Then why is she gone?
Dad: Can you promise to keep a secret?
Daughter: I think I can.
Dad: Your Mother has turned into an angel and now
she's in heaven living with the other angels, and
God too!
Daughter: Daddy, please don't cry!
Dad: I'm sorry Honey. Daddy just hasn't been himself
lately, has he?
Daughter: That's okay Daddy. I still love you.
Dad: Thank's Pumpkin. Your Mama's gone away and she
won't be returning. Do you know any Spanish words
Darling?
Daughter: Are we moving again Daddy?
Dad: I'm afraid so Pumpkin.
Daughter: But I'll miss Mom so much.
Dad: Don't be afraid Pumpkin; Mom will always be as
close as a couple of feet away.
Daughter: Is Mom underneath the bed?
Dad: Yep. Right next to your Brother.
Daughter: Timmy?
Dad: Yep.
Daughter: I love you Dad.
Dad: I love you too Pumpkin. Sweet Dreams.
Daughter: (Aside) I doubt it very seriously.
Dad: Goodnight Sweatheart.
Daughter: Daddy, please leave the light on.
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
Sunday, August 01, 2010
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