Cave Dwellers

STORY IDEAS THAT NEVER GOT OFF THE GROUND/OR
A PAUL THOMAS ANDERSON FILM SCRIPT

Jim and Jill both want a pizza. Jim wants pepperoni; Jill
wants mushrooms. This seemingly innocuous situation
turns ugly when Jim takes a grapefruit and squeezes it
into Jill's fat face

An unassuming man is alone in his apartment when his
phone rings. The man anguishes over whether or not to
answer it. But then he remembers he doesn't own a
phone. Crisis averted.

A woman, on her way to a job interview, is standing at
a bus stop, without an umbrella, when it begins to look
like rain. And then it does begin raining and just for
the hell of it she removes her compact makeup case
mirror from her purse and stares at her reflection as the
rain comes down.

A high school boy comes home from school. He fixes
himself a snack and flops down on the couch. He
ponders whether it is more important to do his Math
or English homework. He finally decides to do neither
and turns on the television.

A terminally ill woman lies in a hospital room. The
woman marvels at the technology around her. The
woman closes her eyes and remembers a scene from
her childhood. The sound of the heart monitor drifts
further and further away until she becomes something
else entirely - something she was a very long time
ago.

A happy go lucky man is on his way to propose to his
girlfriend. The man is not paying attention and thirty
years pass by.

A middle aged man's reflection in his bathroom mirror
challenges himself to a duel. Not wanting to appear
weak the man accepts the challenge. The man stands
back and assumes the classical boxing stance. A
light comes up and the shadow boxing begins - again!

A young woman with exceptional beauty sits down and
waits for instruction from the Director.
"Are you ready for your closeup sweetheart?"
And the slightly pockmarked girl turns to the Director
and replies: "Not if it's in HD!"
"Cut!" yells the Director.