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8/22/10

An Encounter With Patricia Neal

(INT. JOHN IS WALKING THROUGH THE BACK
OF THE THEATRE AND COMES UPON PATRICIA
NEAL WASHING DISHES, AS SHE WOULD HAVE
APPEARED IN THE FILM 'HUD'. A PLAY IS HEARD
IN THE BACKGROUND, INTERUPTED OCASSION-
ALLY BY THE SOUND OF CHICKENS CUKKLING
AND COWS MOOING.)

JOHN

Selma, what are you doing here?

NEAL

What's it look like I'm doing Honey? I'm washing dishes!
That's what I do 'round here! I wash dishes! ...Do you
have an extra smoke on you?

JOHN

Yea sure! Where's Hud tonight?

NEAL

Who knows with him! I'm just glad he's out of the house for
a while. I need the time away from him. You know what a
pill he can be!

JOHN

Yea, sure! Hey listen, can you come over here and talk
to me?

NEAL

Is this close enough Honey?

JOHN

I just wanted to light your cigerette for you properly.

(JOHN PULLS NEAL CLOSE TO HIM)

NEAL

You're such a gentleman!

JOHN

And then some? And you feel so good! You have a
womanly body! And you're a big girl too! You're
bigger than you appear on the big screen. I like that!
Can I get a kiss?

(NEAL KISSES JOHN LIGHTLY ON CHEEK)

What's up with the Hollywood kiss? That's how you would
kiss your grandmother! Now try again sweetheart! I don't
want any tongue. I just want a kiss!

NEAL

Okay!

(THEY KISS)

JOHN

I think you're beautiful! You're gorgeous! I like everything
about you! Are you Italian?

NEAL

No, I'm from Georgia!

JOHN

On both sides?

NEAL

No, just my Mother's! My Father's from Spain!

JOHN

A Conquistador! Can I get another kiss?

(THEY KISS)

You feel so good! I think I'm in love with you.

NEAL

I have a five-month old baby!

JOHN

Your lips are so soft!

NEAL

And a very sickly mother!

JOHN

Can I touch you there?

NEAL

I've had my fill of cocaine and pills!

JOHN

Do you have any now?

NEAL

I was abused as a child!

JOHN

That feels so good! You're so beautiful! Can you make
a pounding noise?

NEAL

Under certain circumstances! Why do you ask? Why are
you telling me this?

JOHN

Are you a backdoor girl?

NEAL

Once! In Branson Missouri! But I've never told anyone,
not even Hud.

JOHN

Tell me all about you! That's all I want to know.

NEAL

I was sixteen. Out on my own for the very first time!

JOHN

I bet you were gorgous.

NEAL

I was! Big breasted and small hipped!

JOHN

Sweet sixteen!

NEAL

I was legal! And I didn't have a care in the world.

JOHN

Were you wearing that apron?

NEAL

Yes, I was working in a truckstop...

JOHN

Serving coffee...

NEAL

And dounuts...Yes! He caught my eye as soon as he
came in the door. A tall lanky boy with blond curls and
ocean blue eyes. I could make out the faint sound of
drumming. Jungle drums in a rain forest far far away.
Wet and succulent plants all around me. Wild animals
crying out in the night! A band of Zulu warriors slowing
circling 'round....

JOHN

Was it a Tarzen movie? I don't know what to think of you
honey.

NEAL

Don't think too hard because that's how I've had it! Hard and
dirty! My poor dirt farm daddy worked himself to death in
them tobacco fields. My poor fat mother went crazy! My
baby sister caught ditheria!

JOHN

Come closer. I only want you. Can I touch you under
your apron?

NEAL

But why?

JOHN

Because I like everything about you! And then some! I
love your butt! I just want to be near you and hold you!

NEAL

That's exactly what I want to hear. I want you to know
everything there is to know about me.

JOHN

Can I get another kiss? Your hair is so soft!

NEAL

Do you have a hair fetish?

JOHN

I do! And yours is absolutely perfect. Are these real?

NEAL

You tell me.

(KISS)

JOHN

Have you ever thought about leaving Hud?
8
NEAL

Never!

JOHN

Then who's the bus ticket for?

NEAL

Okay! I thought about it yesterday! Do you want to touch
my tail or not?

JOHN

Do babies like breast milk?

(NEAL TURNS ONE QUARTER AROUND AND
BEGINS TO DROP HER DRAWERS)

STAGEBOY ENTERS

Sir, richardporter has requested to speak with you
immediately!

JOHN

What could be that important?

STAGEBOY

He says his chicken is missing sir?

JOHN

Well, call in the fucking National Guard! I'm busy here!

(WHEN JOHN TURNS BACK ROUND NEAL HAS
VANISHED.)

FADE OUT