pages

9/25/10

PROFILES IN COURAGE by richardporter

(ASIDE TO AUDIENCE) And just think, yesterday I
was washing dishes.  Now I'm hunt'n down a
runaway.

Bring me my car around!  And can you make it snappy?
I'm late for an appointment.  I'm so lucky to have
appointments.

But sir, you don't own a car!

Well then, put me in an alternative universe - one where I
do own a car!  Do you know anything about string theory?

String theory sir?  Does that have anything to do with cats?

I'm thinking of an certain automobile.  A Rocket 88!  Not
to be confused with the Rocket 77!  Muster up all your
available resources; call in some favors; and produce me one!

The Lexux Sport Coupe 430?

Bingo!  You read me like a cheap tawdry road map.  That's
what I like about you.  I gotta dollar here for you somewhere.
You take green backs?  Mean green?  I'm in a hurry boy!
The one with the drop-top, leather seats, and gangster white
walls, if you have them.  I'm feeling wanton and must act on
this urge.  And make it snappy!

Are you talking to me sir?

I'm talking to somebody.  You don't have a smoke on you
do you?  I'm trying to quit, but it's probably not going to be
today.  Maybe tomorrow.  But who knows what tomorrow
will bring.  I sure as hell don't.  Thank you.  Maybe I'll win
the lottery.  Maybe I'll hit the ^*&^% jackpot!  Can I get
that cigerette, and my car?  You see, I'm in a hurry.  I have
a destination - a purpose.  My purpose driven life.  There's
someone somewhere waiting for me uptown.  Not
downtown!  Uptown!  I believe its due north of here, or
at least magetic north anyway.  I feel something pulling me.
Maybe it's the tide.  Maybe it's the moon.  I think I'm
feeling low tide right about now.  Washed up on shore I
have with bloody sea shells still in my hair.  Do you know
where I can find a good dry cleaner?  I look like bloody
&^%$ hell.  I'm scarce half made up!  A product of
dissembling nature, no doubt.  Gotta freshen up though.
Does my hair look okay?  Do my pockmarks stick out?
Where's Broadway?  I hail from a small one horse town
but I feel like visiting a gated community.  I'm no spring
chicken!  That's fer damn sure.  Passing and not doing a
very good job.

Sir, if you don't move along I'm going to have to call the
police.

Ah yes, the men in blue.  This city's finest.  I should be so
goddamn lucky.  But what about all those things you were
going to do for me?  I tell you what, forget about the car.
Forget about the cigerette.  A taxi will do.  So is life.
But could you do me one last favor?

What is that sir?

Make it *&^%? snappy!  I'm in a *&%@% hurry.  I'm
going no where, you see!

I see sir.