Saturday, September 03, 2011

The Silence Of The Lambs

Have a Bless'ed Day!

If there's anything I can't stand, it's a Born Again Christian. These losers who didn't get it right the first time, tend to hide behind their religion whenever you want to get paid. Here is my latest example: In March, 2010, my husband was contacted by someone named Kevin Lamb, a good ol' boy from Arkansas, who apparently doesn't believe in paying for anything. He formed his mega million dollar company eight years ago, providing "Advanced Tissue" in medical care - or at least that's the name of his company. My husband mixed "Break the Cycle" for Cory Lamb, this man's son when he wanted it. He made the kid sound a lot better than he is, but that's beside the point.

The point is the bill came to over $20,000.00 And after all this time, he has paid us less than 1/3. Of course, the poor man, he's putting a lovely addition on his home in Arkansas, so we shouldn't really bother him with our whining. After all, I can't even contribute to my own place of worship because of Mr. Lamb and his no-talent son. He's told us a million times he was going to pay us tomorrow, the next day, you'll get the check at the end of the week, no prob. So, this morning I left a message on his fan page for Mr. Cory Lamb, resident deadbeat, who won't pay the people who put him in the limelight because why? Because he's a Christian, and "God is on our side."

This morning I opened a bill from HomeWorks, a most horrible company. "May God Bless," their answering phone message says. Blessed or not, they were paid the end of June, check #1967 - and on Monday, right after they've wasted yet another day sitting in church and telling themselves they don't have to do what everybody else does because "God is on their side" - they will be in for a big shock on Monday morning, when God is nowhere to be found, and I'm on the phone telling them not only did I pay for their lousy service and their ornery, slovenly, trolls they hired to do yard work, they will be informed that they will now have to come out and see the damage they caused to my mother's screens with their weed-whackers. I was willing to overlook it, but since they sent me a bill for not even being here in July - I had to hire Doug Gregg (904)819-0221, who was a vast improvement, to work on my mother's yard. He did such a wonderful job, and never mentioned God - go figure.

This is what's wrong with this country, or at least, what's wrong with the South. Too many churches - No one has any education behind them. My neighbor, whose daughter-in-law just graduated from some Florida community college, informed me she wants to be a judge.

A judge! I laughed! "Well, with two more years of high school behind her she's off to a good start. She needs a four year university, then she needs the LCAT- that test she has to take to see if she can even go to law school - then she needs to score a law school, a good one - So I'm thinking she's looking at least 8 years more of school. And then the long tenure begins, working as a clerk, if you're lucky, in some one's office, writing briefs. And then becoming a lawyer- I've known people who took a whole year off, just studying for the bar."

"Really?" my neighbor said. "All that?"

This is a woman who took her kids out of the excellent New Jersey school system and put them into the horrendous Florida school system at a young age. Her brains must have turned to mush in the Florida sun a long time ago. I began to realize reality was not a factor in this conversation.

"Of course, I'm thinking New York," I said, breezily. "And you know New York - their standards are - different." I managed to say, instead of "higher." "I'm sure in Florida, it'd be no problem." I mean, I know lawyers who'd like to be judges, too, but they're too busy working, just being lawyers.

"Gee, and she's in church right now, praying on God to make her a judge. I thought maybe there was just a course she could take. She's got a college education."

Unfortunately, she does not have a "college" education. At best, she has a two year degree from a Florida community college - credits that probably won't even transfer to Sears Roebuck. Unless watching Judge Judy suddenly counts for credit, this girl has a long road ahead of her in the world of law.

"Isn't that something?" I said, more shocked than surprised. It never would have occurred to me to go to church and ask God to make me a judge. - While she's there, she might want to ask if he could make her look like Angelina Jolie, too, just in case. Or maybe pay us - does God have a checkbook?

[posted by richardporter for pixelasana]

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