Heman Cain Announces New Jobs Plan: Fellatio for Occupatio!

After a group of prominent German Americans nixed Cain’s 999 Jobs Plan with nein nein nein, Herman Cain has come up with another plan: suck his penis and you too can work in the food industry.

Sharon Bialek explains how it works:

“He reached over and he put his hand on my leg under my skirt and reached for my genitals,” Bialek said, her voice breaking with emotion. “He also grabbed my head and brought it towards his crotch. I was very, very surprised and very shocked. I said, ‘What are you doing?'”

Said Cain, “You want a job, right?”

National Journal

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