The Big Tease

Sunday Morning Music - I think I better let it go just another love tko - Teddy Pedergrass

"I trust richardporter's sensibility and that's why I keep coming back!"

The Long Hot Summer

A Girl I Dated In High School - What Fun We Had

Travon Martin

Sunday Morning Music

Wholesomely Disturbing

My Blood Curdling Account About How I Came To Terms With The Free Market System

Republican Talking Point Of The Day

World Nut Daily

demi monde nyc - the ramones

Rolling Stone

Happy Mother's Day to My Dear Mother Barbara Jean Miller, Circa 1960

Sarah Palin Latest Victim of TSA Scanners! Or, How To 'Stand Your Ground' at O'Hare Airport!

The List of Celebrites Who Say They Were Raped By TSA Employees Continues to Grow -


 “…but I tell you the last time I flew to Afghanistan I got manually raped by a guy who said – "the scanner wasn’t working" and performed a full cavity search of my anus.  And that's when he found my pet Gerbil”

Geraldo

"They pulled me out of line and led me into a darkened room when Gov. Jan Brewer enters the room wearing a cucumber strapped to her...."

Sen. Rand Paul of Kenfucky

“They tied my hands and arms down and gave me more medication. Offensive Touching, Gripping, Rubbing Of Genitals and perhaps even Anal Sex!  When I woke up I found myself in bed with Gov. Scott Walker."

Gov. Jesse Ventura

Nearing the end of this violation, I sobbed even louder as the woman, FOUR TIMES, stuck the side of her gloved hand INTO my vagina, through my pants. Between my labia. She really got up there. Four times. Back right and left, and front right and left. In my vagina. Between my labia. I was shocked -- utterly unprepared for how she got the side of her hand up there. It was government-sanctioned sexual assault.

Upon leaving, still sobbing, I yelled to the woman, "YOU RAPED ME." And I took her name to see if I could file sexual assault charges on my return. This woman, and all of those who support this system deserve no less than this sort of unpleasant experience, and from all of us.

Amy Alkon, Writer

In our next edition Amy describes how her vagina was taken advantage of in a Piggly Wiggly by a Bag Boy in Macon Georgia.


And who can forget 'don't touch my junk' John Tyner who is credited with beginning this whole pschosis!

Tea Partiers Fight Back at Cities Who Want to Ban Plastic Bags Citing Advantages to the Envrionment:

Dead Albatross

Said noted Tea Party leader Edna Mattos Citrus County Florida profiled on this blog before (see link below):

"Don't these damn democrats know that marine life thrive off of our plastics.  Cut open any fish and you'll find plastic bags, bic lighters, and dog whistles.  Man has just added another food source for these poor fishes, and birds too!  Why can't the demorats understand this simple fact??  It would be like having to wear a dead Albatross around one's neck if we didn't have plastics!"

Manatee Ass

Atticus Finch

We're now all too familiar with Mitt Romney's bullying in High School. But guess what, he was bullyed too, and here is the video that proves it!

Porter Rican Women

She says she's Puerto Rican. I remind her I'm Porter Rican too. She says she's Pentecostal. I think to myself, this can be very good. I happen to like Puerto Rican Pentecostal women. It must be my lucky day! She says so what are you looking for? I say I want someone to come by work and bring some snacks for the guys in the office and come to me and whisper in my ear, "Rich, you can do so much better if only you listen to me." And I reply, "I'm listening Honey."

Obama Evolves

Sign of the Times

French Socialist Francois Hollande Vows Nicolas Sarkozy's Demise Will Be Quick

The French Way

Dissident of the Month - Chen Guangcheng of China - And He's Blind - Come up and accept your reward!

Where It Stands

President Obama Kicks Off His 2012 Official Campaign with a Nod to Young Ohio Voters

Buzz Kill

New Jersey Govenor Chris Christy's Son Domino "Pizza" Christie may seek local Political office but this Face Book picture may come back to haunt him

Gov. Chris Christie

"Honey, turn to the right and give them that come hither look!"

50 Ways To Leave Your Lover

A Compelling short story by Richard Porter - Finger Licking Good

FINGER LICKING GOOD

You're probably wondering why I've invited Col. Sanders here with us today

Let's just say I have a soft spot in my heart for the Col.'s seven secret herbs

and spices So far though in my exhaustive research I've only discovered one of

these spices - salt And that brings me to another point Am I worth my salt and

for that matter How is my pepper count doing? Should I worry about my

calcium levels too? Or more importantly are you worried about my calcium

levels?  If someone else mentions To me again in polite company the sexual

healing powers of vitamin E I think I might just scream I'm a human being first

and a chicken lover second Now let's examine the facts tease out the lies

flush out the truth play a little three card monte Are you catching my drift?

Are there any card players here today?  Gin rummy?  Do you like

word-association games too?  Go fish?  What about hat tricks?  Parlor tricks?  I

do!  I played monopoly as a child I didn't need any friends I had a home on

Park Avenue and a villa on Boardwalk But in any event should I strip down to

my skivvies?  Would that make you happy?  Do you want to see me bump and

grind?  Get down and dirty?  I wish I was so lucky but alas I'm confined to this

damn blasted wheelchair People often come up to me bend over and ask me

questions like I'm an imbecile And I answer them with this: I'll rip you mf lungs

out mister Cross me and I'll smote thee Oy Como Va!  Gesundheit!  See I do

know a little of what I'm talking about And what advice am I trying to impart to

you today? When speaking before me say it in the key of 'd'  Why am I saying

this? Because nothing else really matters  It's all about pitch and intonation for me

and don't forget it

[Girls Voice] Mr. Porter, do you feel compelled by a narrative mission?

I feel compelled to do many things Some I can and some I can't explain I felt

compelled just now to post this on the internet  In fact without compelling I wouldn't

be standing here before you today  I've compelled with the best of them  Am I on a

narrative mission?  Let's see Nope No narrative mission going on here I wish I

could help you I wish I could say to you emphatically and with conviction and

without question that I am on a narrative mission But alas I'm not I want to be on a

mission though I think it's a noble goal And I do need to go somewhere Where do

I sign up?  But on second thought and to be quite frank with you my car's not running

right at the moment My car ain't right! Never has been The point is I can't even get

uptown so it must surely follow that I can't be on a narrative mission Gotta get MAACO!

Maybe next month I can't tell you exactly when though I remember as a child being

compelled to get out of bed each morning And then later still I felt compelled to leave

home and live on my own No one ever mentioned being on a narrative mission when

I was growing up I had to learn it on the streets Okay the avenues and boulevards but let's

not split hairs here okay?  So back to your question: am I on a narrative mission?  Not

at the moment but I'm confident I'll be on one soon

And like a piece of gum stuck to that part of your brain that doesn't let you forget the things

you wish you could but instead plays them over and over again until you feel like you are

about to explode It's become my narrative mission in life folks and like a Delphic oracle

of past I feel compelled to fulfill it To discharge my duties and to resolutely and with extreme

prejudice annihilate any and every motherfucking thing that comes within my cross hairs That's

just the kind of guy I am Maybe it was my upbringing Maybe it's the fact that I'm a cripple

or just maybe I'm am egotistical egomaniac I'm not sure Call me obsessive compulsive

compulsive obsessive but just don't call me late to mother fucking dinner And speaking of

dinner I must leave you now and attend to my bucket of the Col's finest So please without

further adue please let me introduce to you our guest speaker A man who single handily

tamed the wild chicken and confined their entire existence to a petri dish A man who knows

a little something about the sanctity of life Please welcome none other than the finger licking

king himself - Mr. Col. Sanders He always wanted to be a General but that's for another day

[Sound of Audience Clapping]

Richard Porter, April 2012